“You’re gonna love my nuts” said Vince Offer, and the –what is it? – became memorable. So anyway, Vince is showing the—oh yeah—Slap Chop and how easily and quickly it—well—chops. Food. Vegetables. Nuts. But what the heck, anything for a memory, right? So when Vince says “You’re gonna love my nuts” he may have created the first of what may, for better or worse, evolve into the Plastic Gem Library of Infomercial Literature.
One man ponders, “Eww, I hope they switched them otherwise he just put hard boiled egg in with those salty nuts and Oreos.” Now I am old, I know the nuances of nuts versus metaphorical nuts; and loving the nuts and slap chopping the nuts; which Vince would regret were he to really do that to the metaphorical nuts. But for the life of me, what is the meaning of LULZ? And in fairness to Vince, that did not come from him. My glass bubble has no translation for ESISOTN. And that one’s just for me to know.
Back to nuts, there are some people out there who are interested in buying the Slap Chop but they plan to get it at Walmart.
Here are other options to “You’ll love my nuts”. Not from Vince but inspired by him, “Veggies on top of pizza? What a concept.” And from Vince, “Watch to the 52 second mark.”. And then, as to the question of why Vince of Slap Chop and Shamwow fame wears headsets, “It dispenses the meth so he stays excitable.” Finally, Vince’s penultimate promise once you have the Slap Chop, “You’re going to have an exciting life now.” One more time—“You’ll love my nuts”.
