Slap Chop with Vince Offer: Love His Nuts And You Will Have An Exciting Life Forever

“You’re gonna love my nuts” said Vince Offer, and the –what is it? – became memorable. So anyway, Vince is showing the—oh yeah—Slap Chop and how easily and quickly it—well—chops. Food. Vegetables. Nuts. But what the heck, anything for a memory, right? So when Vince says “You’re gonna love my nuts” he may have created the first of what may, for better or worse, evolve into the Plastic Gem Library of Infomercial Literature.

One man ponders, “Eww, I hope they switched them otherwise he just put hard boiled egg in with those salty nuts and Oreos.” Now I am old, I know the nuances of nuts versus metaphorical nuts; and loving the nuts and slap chopping the nuts; which Vince would regret were he to really do that to the metaphorical nuts. But for the life of me, what is the meaning of LULZ? And in fairness to Vince, that did not come from him. My glass bubble has no translation for ESISOTN. And that one’s just for me to know.

Back to nuts, there are some people out there who are interested in buying the Slap Chop but they plan to get it at Walmart.

Here are other options to “You’ll love my nuts”. Not from Vince but inspired by him, “Veggies on top of pizza? What a concept.” And from Vince, “Watch to the 52 second mark.”. And then, as to the question of why Vince of Slap Chop and Shamwow fame wears headsets, “It dispenses the meth so he stays excitable.” Finally, Vince’s penultimate promise once you have the Slap Chop, “You’re going to have an exciting life now.” One more time—“You’ll love my nuts”.

Vince Gets More Attention than His ShamWow Cloth

I have a feeling that Vince from ShamWow the host of the infomercial about the Shamwow cloths, will not be concerned that people are not talking as much about the Shamwow as they are about him. Because if what I hear is right, he is the owner of the product in the United States. At least, that is one of the things I heard, don’t quote me. Now if that is true, he would not mind if he is a bigger star than the Shamwow shammy because in that sense, he and the Shamwow are one. The Shamwow shammy cloth is a highly absorbent towel that Vince claims can absorb 20 times as much liquid as its own weight. Just for the record. I also don’t think Vince the ShamWow guy will mind being the larger focus of attention nonetheless, because apparently, he really wanted to be in the business. Show business, that is. And now, everyone in the world of blogdom and forums are talking about him as the Shamwow guy. Blame it on the Shamwow infomercial. Many who have seen the infomercial don’t know his name, but they talk of his headset, his hair, and compare him to a few things, some of them insulting. That, they say, is showbiz. One person called him Billy Mays but the world is fair, another called the Shamwow the “Shemwow.” Sometimes, the Shamwow has been mistaken for the Snuggie. Suddenly, because of this cloth or towel , Vince’s life is known piece by piece. He wrote, directed, and starred in the unsuccessful film, “The Underground Comedy Movie”. Afterwards, it was said he sued the Farrell brothers, Anna Nicole Smith, and the Church of Scientology. Less flattering comments–he was said to resemble one of the mental patients from an old film, “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”. “He creeps me out” one said. Said another, “Like watching a car wreck”. His vocal cadence was compared to a legendary siren. So finally, Vince has gottten some fame. People are curious about this man with the linear, upward spiked and gelled hair. And if he truly owns the Shamwow, he must be rich, too. He got some, if not everything that he has ever wanted. Well, some is often not close to most. We have heard tell that he was arrested for assault. But then, not everyone can be Johnny Depp.